Sunday, May 2, 2010

Hey guys, it's been awhile.

Now that my history and chem exams are done and I have just the AP's left to take, I will be back in the water (consistently...i've been goin here and there) as of next week. If you don't want to go back to practice, I assure you these practices are nothing compared to Douggie's sets. They aren't easy, but they are definitely doable. Steve, Stephen, Matt, myself, Jack Ladd, Bill Wong (he alone should be incentive enough) are all gonna be there, maybe even the sexy Geoff Gilles when he's done puttin' his balls into the hole (make sure you pronounce the verb correctly, could be misinterpreted otherwise). I've got an Owl City concert tonight, and yes I am still straight, and no I have not considered dating men. Well. Maybe. Regardless, finish off the year strong.

As for concerns for next year, I won't say much. Trust your captains, they know what they're doing. And when you look to the excuse of "things are different" or "we don't have the same coach" just remember that Douglass would never approve of anything but your best effort, regardless of what situation you are placed in. Instead of dreading what might change for the worse as a result of him leaving us, hope for the best and know that we will have a newfound source of motivation to do our best. Do it for coach. It's the best way we can honor his legacy. Trust the sets, trust the coaches, trust your teammates and their ability, but most of all trust yourself. You were the one that got you to where you were last year. Quite frankly, coach's inspirational speeches and encouragement and even his downright mocking and castigation of your pitiful flaws will be missed, and might have some effect on us. But know that every other team in the state has not had Douggie, and they have still found success in one form or another. We can too. Don't doubt that.

Shorty

Sunday, March 14, 2010

So, I've been in the hotel for a good 2 hours and some pretty eventful stuff has happened so I thought I'd spill.

First and foremost, I will be back in the water right before April so anyone who is anyone should join.

Secondly, my brother has come of age. In his terms. He recently attended a strip club...and told my parents about it. My parents had the phone on speaker and I was just texting in the back seat when he decides it'd be pretty funny to tell my mom and dad his activites the day before.

Quote "I walked in and I was so surprised to see naked people climbing on poles."

Needless to say I got the f**k out of the car and waited in the hotel lobby while my mom and dad finished talking with him. Beginning to think that going to college with him at Duke would be an awkward experience. I can just see him walking in on me doin something he considers outrageous.

Third, I became besties Dylan. He greeted me by saying "I'm going to choke-slam you through a table." I'm not sure what that means exactly but it sounds hard to do. I'm intrigued.

7 more colleges to go.

Shorty

Monday, March 8, 2010

It's yo f**kin birthday!

Happy birthday to the indisputably most attractive member of our team, Geoffery Sex Panther Gilles.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Ideas for Team Loveeee!!

So, I beenz a thinkings and I kinda realized...I sorta maybe kinda like all you guys just a little bit...not sure about gilly.

But, I thought it'd be awesome if we could arrange some shhhtuff this summer like some ultimate frisbee or chillaxin at someone's place or something uber uber sweet like goin' down to six flags or up to noah's ark (not...in...jammers...except murph. He can pull that shit off like no other). Idk, personally I want this last year to be the absolute most fun time of my life and I feel like you all my brahs... but I don't know all of you too well outside the pool. Anyone can arrange this stuff, but if the captains have interest I suggest they do most of it because, well, people will be more likely to listen to them. Maybe not Jack...but Rob definitely*

If you have any interested in any of this comment a "yes" or "no" or "hell no I hate you" depending on your feelings.

Lataz,

Shorty

Edit: maybe if you could all grow some cajones like murphy and actually comment so I don't have to rely on your good-will...

*JKLADDY!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Offseason

Well, now that state is done and we closed with our annual swim banquet, it seems like all there is to do is wait around until mid-November and go through the routine again (one last time for us seniors).

Unless you're Steve Lillie, this can't be your mindset if you have any desires that our team to live up to its potential (which our coaches might have touched upon once or twice).

While I don't know how accurate the prediction of "one person in every event" at state is, I do know that we can pack much more than 1 relay and 1 individual event into the vans next year. If you were close to state, or alternate for state this year, don't rely on luck or anything else to get you there the next time. Do something about it.

Jack Ladd, Steven Grambow, Bill Wong, and I will begin training at Schroeder pretty soon. Yea, I know it's associated with Douggie's arch-enemy Dave and another anonymous person who would a make great advertisements for a certain female organ body-care hygiene product, but it's a blast. The sets still suck, but they keep you in great shape. I'll be the first one to say coming into this season I was ready to be one of the top swimmers. You might say "wow short, you're one hell of a cock for saying that" but it's true. After time trials Jack, Billy, Grambow, and I (and of course Steve Lillie, but that's a given) all had the fastest 50 freestyle times. We didn't kill everybody else, but we started out ahead. Granted I stayed at a 25-26 and a 57-58 mid the entire year (mainly because I lost a ton of strength in exchange for conditioning), but it's more than that.

Off-season training gets you comfortable with the pain and work before the season. That way you aren't dying the first couple weeks on sets that you will probably end up doing for tapers come January. This is nice because with the emotions of the new season, you don't have as much to deal with. Plus you have an enormous amount of confidence, and it's really nice to kick every1 else's @$$ in the 2000 T.T. because you have the endurance that they missed out on.

I encourage those of you who aren't training in the off-season, be it because you play a different sport, because you're a fat-@$$, or any other reason to consider it (if it's a financial issue, talk to Dave about it. He's really a great guy no matter what Coach says). You'd be doing all of your teammates one hell of a favor, and you'd be one step closer to making your dreams of being part of the state team come true. Is it a guarantee? No. Case and point, myself. But you're range of possibilities opens up dramatically if you do.

I hate to agree with Coach here, but, seniors, what kind of legacy do you want to leave? Do you want to be known as the swimmer who stepped it up, put in the extra effort to better his team, and tasted sweet success at the state meet or the swimmer who felt he didn't need to change anything and at the end of the season saw others achieve what he couldn't. All I can say is that if you put all your cards on the table (which includes training in the off-season), your regrets will be minimal. Trust me: regrets...suck. You don't want to be in the position of "I was this close." It's depressing beyond belief.

Hope you guys have a good rest of the school year, maybe see you at Mrs. Potter's in June when Wisconsin still decides it wants to snow.

Gotta go take an SAT,

Shorty

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

This week:

Hello boyz,

For the two of you who don't know, this week, Friday, our boy's swim team will be sending a handful of people up to Madison to compete with the best of the best (mainly Chuckie and Lennertz cuz they're freakin huge) to make a statement that we've come back and we aren't going anywhere soon.

Here's a shout-out to our competitors Jim "JJ" Jens, Billy "tsunami sushi shrimp fried rice" Wong, Steve "kick-your-ass (and he knows it)" Lillie, and Stephen "Man-Child" Gramb(issim)ow.
Represent boys. If there's one thing I want all them at Madison to remember, it's that we have some of the best looking torso's in the friggin state. Douglass might tell you that the time and the effort are what's important...no... okay swimming is and always has been about how you look. I mean why else would you oil down and wear a skimpy piece of synthetic material that does nothing but emphasize your--anyway, I want us to look damn good. I mean I want it to be so that if I were blind-folded, I could caress your entire body and mistake every inch of it for a baby's bottom

^^And, uh, swim hard I s'pose.

Another shout-out to those alternates who get the experience without the nerves: Jack "text-my-girl" Ladd, Rob "steal-Michael's-date" Davis, Matt "I fight'cha" Daniels, and Geoff "Sex Panther" Gilles.

Basically the alternates are supposed to be ones bold enough to step in if any of the main swimmers gets hurt in like a freak accident or if Tanya Harding happens to be competing in their event. But, really, it's all about the hotel, the breakfast, the day off of school, and the view of 200+ glistening, nicely-chiseled bodies who can all swim faster than you can talk.

But seriously, have fun, kick some @$$ (I gotta check just how profane I can be on here) and enjoy yourselves. Cuz you never know who's gonna kick your ass next year---> I mean because this is a great experience that you will remember for the rest of your life.

Shorty

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

This'll be fun...

Hey guys, this is going to be a hit or miss thing. I figured if coach can write his own blog about our meets, practices, etc and try to better connect with us through the internet, the least we can do is playfully mock him and vent about practices. This can so work, if you guys want it to.

Give me a little time. I know you might be thinking "Wow shorty, you're pretty lame, why are u bloggin', you could be gaming." Yea, ok, I've considered that, but give me a little while. Best case scenario, you guys read this ocassionally and comment on it to give it some life. I will do my best with the satire and backlashing comments towards coach. Hopefully he'll read this.

All I ask is that you try it out. Unfortunately, as of now, I think only the head blogger can post this kind of text, as opposed to us all being able to chip in. We'll see if this works.

Meanwhile, I'm chillin', some of you guys are taperin', and some of you guys (Dan Becker...) are spending a little too much time at the computer with Jill.

This thing will be running full speed once next season comes around. I might commentate a little about the team here and then, but I'll leave most of that to Douggie.

Laterz,

Shorty